Last night, while I was enjoying a little Makers Mark on a single whiskey cube, and playing some video games on my phone, it hit me like a ton of bricks, “I am completely wasting my time!”.
I had been playing this game “War Robots” (Don’t judge!) that pits you against other players in Robot battles. You are pitted against other players, and can join squads/teams and go out to battle. Most of the time you are out fighting other players, but there is a lot of waiting for Robots to upgrade, so you can wipe other players off of the maps.
Games usually last about 8-10 minutes, and I had been playing this damn thing just about every day for about a year and a half. That’s when I realized, if I had put that hour a day into something else (let’s say reading) I probably would have finished all of the classics I had never read. I could have put that toward training for an ironman and actually finished one. I could have probably become a PhD in particle physics!
This is when it all sunk in that I play this game to escape, tune everything out, and be the exact opposite of present. Theirs is no bettering of self in the through playing this game, so why do I keep coming back? To waste time. That’s the only reason I have. Sure there is some comradery with the guys in my clan (Group of about 36 people who all go into battle together) but I’ve neglected my self-betterment in the pursuit of a better fucking robot!? I can tell you every hiding place on every board in the game, but my fingers are forgetting how to play songs on the guitar. And what can I take from this game into daily conversations? “Hey man, you have level 12 Orkans on your Griffin?” What the fuck is that?
That’s when I realized the absurdity of the game! As Kerouac says, “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” I work in an office all day, then come home and put myself on the mower when I play this game! I can’t share the stories of the games with people, and if anything, it distances me from everyone. So, I shut it off… Like a light switch!But why stop there? I then looked at other games and thought, “Well that one is more cerebral..” nope! It’s a time waster!! Get rid of it!
Over the next few weeks, I will fill my free time with one of two things, training or reading. I have never read Moby Dick from cover to cover, so I think I will start with that or one of the other classics.
What’s the point in all this? Whatever it is you are wanting to do but don’t, whatever it is you wished you could do; do it! What are you waiting for? Want to play the piano, learn to play the piano! Want to complete a huge race? Do it! You are the only barrier in your way, and start doing the things you don’t want to do to get to your goal.